mgpcpastor's blog

These types of lists float around and surface from time to time.

Often the denominational tags just get changed around.
I read some of these last week in a list of ‘You Know You’re Lutheran If…’

Jolly Blogger’s list ‘You Might Be A Presbyterian If…’
Some personal highlights:

• You can spell supralapsrian , suprlapsarian, suralapsrian, supralapsarian.
• When asked to name the twelve apostles you say Matthew, John, James, Andrew, Peter, Nathaniel, Phillip, Simon, Thomas, Augustine, Luther and Calvin.
• When the spirit comes upon you in power, you don’t raise your hands and shout Hallelujuah, rather you scratch your chin, turn to your neighbor and whisper “hmmm, . . . that was a good point.”
• When someone asks you a question about the Bible, you answer, “Well, the confession says . . . ” or “the catechism says . . . “
• They aren’t “catholics,” or even “Roman Catholics.” They’re “Romanists,” or “Papists.”
• You know, or think you know, the difference between “calvinist” and “reformed.”
• You think the phrase “chosen frozen” is a compliment.

Joseph Johnson files another list at ‘A Higher Orthodoxy’.
More highlights:

• Presbyterians believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.
• Presbyterians like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.
• Presbyterians believe their pastors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don’t notify them that they are there.

You know you’re a Presbyterian when:

• You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can;
• It takes 15 minutes to stop talking at the prelude and 15 minutes to leave the church after the postlude.

How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb? None—the light is predestined to be on and off at God’s infallible and sovereign will . . .

And, of course…
How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
“My auntie Jean donated that light bulb, to the glory of God and in memory of uncle George, so it can never be changed.”

How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
Change??? What’s change???