mgpcpastor's blog

Mark Altogge provides this list of things not to say to the preacher after he’s preached the sermon.
None of them were said to me yesterday.
Thankfully.
Commiserations if any were said to you.

• Wow that was the best sleep I’ve ever had!
• I know you were preaching on Matthew but I just couldn’t stop thinking about those locusts in Revelation.
• Nothing you said applied to me but my roommate sure needs to do what you said.
• I love that illustration – I have no idea what you were illustrating but I really love the illustration.
• Have you heard John Piper’s message on that same text?  Wow is it good.
• I really liked the first five minutes of your message but then I had to go outside for a couple smokes.
• I think you meant to say, “Father Abraham send Lazarus to touch his finger to my tongue,” but you said, “Father Abraham send Lazarus to stick his tongue in my mouth (I actually said that once by accident).
• You know what would’ve made that message better? If you would’ve used some Scripture.
• I love coming to this church because the worship music is so awesome.  The messages are ok too.
• Wow that message was deep – would you mind explaining it to me?
• Do you know you said “Uh” 93 times during your message?  I know because I was counting.
• I think you meant to say “hermetically” sealed instead of “hermeneutically” sealed didn’t you? (I  said this last week).
• Here’s a funny portrait of you I drew you while you were preaching.
• That message was awesome! What was it about again?
• Thanks for working so hard on the message. I know preaching isn’t very enjoyable for you so thanks for serving us.
• Have you ever thought about doing something besides preaching for a living?

The comment thread at Altrogge’s blog includes interaction with some of the people who did say some of these to him.