Jennie Baddeley writes about the discomfort of true repentance; the process of living an examined life and how that from which we have to turn is ourselves.
From the post.
I dislike the assault on my pride which comes with repentance.
I have sinned.
I was not merely mistaken.
I did not err because I was gloriously human.
My circumstances didn’t force these actions, words, thoughts upon me.
I was the person who did this thing.
I did this thing because that is who I am and that is what I am like.
It wasn’t an accident or an aberration.
This is not my carefully constructed self-perception; the ‘me’ I clothe with half-truths and wheel out to convince family and friends that I am worthy of their love and regard. No, this is a glimpse I catch of my naked self in the glaring, fluorescent light of truth. Repenting provides me with an unwelcome reminder of my authentic self. Not that this is all that can be said of me – having met Jesus and being transformed by his Spirit. But it is still true and valid and deeply sobering.
Read the article here.