mgpcpastor's blog

Two posts by Paul Tripp that deal with the need to recognise and confess personal failings in order to grow healthy relationships.
To do this people need an objective standard by which they can consistently evaluate themselves, a conscience that will honestly recognise when they are failing to meet that standard, and the will to do what is needed to set the situation right.
As usual Tripp expresses helpful truth in straightforward fashion.
From part one:

One of the most tempting fallacies for us—and for every human being in this fallen world—is to believe that our greatest problems exist outside us rather than inside us. Despite this, the Bible calls us to humbly confess that the greatest, deepest, most abiding problem each of us faces is inside of us, not outside. The Bible names that problem “sin.” Because sin is self-focused and self-serving, it is antisocial and destructive to our relationships.
You know that you have been gifted with grace when you are able to say, “My greatest relationship problems are because of what’s inside of me not outside of me.”

From part two:

Many relationships travel a one-way road in the wrong direction—the direction of a hardened heart. In the early days of the relationship we’re concerned with winning the other person, being loving, kind, serving, respectful, giving, forgiving, and patient.
But before long we let down our guard. We quit being so solicitous. Selfishness replaces service. We do and say things we would have never thought of at the relationship’s beginning. We become progressively less giving, patient, and forgiving. We look out for ourselves more than for the other person.
At first, our conscience bothers us. Eventually our heart hardens and our conscience doesn’t bother us anymore. It’s a perverse ability that all sinners have: becoming progressively comfortable with things that should shock, grieve, and embarrass us.
It’s a sign of God’s grace when our consciences are sensitive and our hearts are grieved, focusing not on what the other person’s wrongs, but at what we have become. This sensitivity is the doorway to real and lasting change.