You may or may not be aware of the fictional character Abraham (or Grandpa) Simpson from the animated television series, The Simpsons. One of the characters’ traits is the inclination to tell what one website aptly describes as ‘rambling go-nowhere stories’.
An example:
We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell ’em stories that don’t go anywhere – like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ’em. “Give me five bees for a quarter,” you’d say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…
Why am I mentioning this?
Well, on Monday morning I’ll be driving my daughter to work sometime between 7.15 and 7.30am.
Our local ABC radio station usually broadcasts a spot that features a ‘Bush Raconteur’ named Dennis Adams. Mr. Adams provides a personal narration of some episode from his younger years. Unlike that icon of the South East, Roly Parks of Kalangadoo, Dennis Adams is a real person; you can read about him here.
The vocal cadence and much of the content of his stories is highly evocative of Grandpa Simpson. The narratives begin, meander along and then stop. Last week’s one was about people who stewed weeds to make an intoxicating beverage (as was the style at the time). Given the cadence with which Mr Adams speaks you can easily imagine Abraham Simpson’s voice providing the narrative. Doing so makes these segments even funnier. The scriptwriters from the Simpsons could simply use them verbatim.
Unfortunately none of these segments is available in recorded form, so those of you reading in far away places will have to ask your local ABC radio to obtain them and play them.
If you live here in Mount Gambier and haven’t done so yet, tune your radio to the ABC on Monday morning and have a listen.
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