From: ‘Frost’s Laws and By-Laws of American Society. A condensed but thorough treatise on etiquette and its usages in America, containing plain and reliable directions for deportment in every situation in life.’ by Sarah Annie Frost, 1869.
ETIQUETTE IN CHURCH.
- IN visiting a church in which you have no pew of your own, wait in the vestibule until the sexton comes to you, and request him to show you to a seat. It is extremely rude to enter a pew without invitation if it is partially filled, or without permission if it is empty.
- Always enter a church slowly and reverentially. A gentleman must remove his hat at the door, and never replace it until he is again in the vestibule.
- Conform strictly to the forms of worship. If you are not familiar with them, rise, kneel, and sit as you see others do.
- Never whisper to a companion in church.
- Never make any noise with your feet or fingers.
- Never stare round the building.
- Never bow to any friend while in the church itself. Greetings may be exchanged in the vestibule after service.
- A gentleman accompanying a lady to a Roman Catholic church, even if himself a Protestant, may offer her the holy water, and it must be with an ungloved hand.
- Gentlemen must pass up the aisle beside their lady companions until they reach the pew, then advance a few steps, open the door, and stand aside until she has entered, then enter, and close the door again. It is a bad plan to leave the hat outside, as it is liable to be swept down the aisle by the skirts of ladies passing. If there is not room for it on the seat, it can be put upon the floor inside the pew.
- Never pay any attention to those around you, even if they are noisy or rude.
- If you pass a book or a fan to a person in the same pew, or accept the same attention, it is not necessary to speak. A silent bow is all that etiquette requires.
- If you have room in your own pew, and see a stranger enter, open the door and motion him to enter. It is not necessary to speak.
- You may find the place and point it out to a stranger, who is unfamiliar with the service; but do so silently.
- A lady should never remove her gloves in church, unless to use the holy water, or the right-hand glove at communion.
- To come late to church is not only ill-bred, but disrespectful. It is equally so to hurry away, or to commence preparations for departure, closing and putting away the books, and such preparations, before the service closes.
- Never keep any one waiting if you are invited or have invited them to go to church.
- When visiting a church abroad, not to attend divine service, but to see the edifice, choose an hour when there is no service. If you find worshippers, however, are present, move quietly, speak low, and endeavor not to disturb their devotions.
- The godmother at a christening must accompany the family of her little godchild to and from the church, and should send her gift (usually a silver cup) the day before.
- In attending a funeral not in your own family, never leave the pew until the mourners have passed into the aisle; but rise and stand while they pass, falling into your proper place as the procession passes you.
- It is ill-bred for gentlemen to congregate in the vestibule of a church and there chat familiarly, often commenting audibly upon the service or the congregation. No true lady likes to run this gauntlet, although in this country they are too often obliged to do so.
- To show any disrespect to a form of worship that may be new or strange to you is rude in the extreme. If you find it trying to your own religious convictions, you need not again visit churches of the same denomination; but to sneer at a form, while in the church using that form, is insulting and low-bred.