mgpcpastor's blog

Being a somewhat introverted personality, I’m not a great conversationalist.
I can talk the leg off a chair. If there’s something to talk about.
After we moved to Melbourne it was a bit easier. Mostly everyone will fall into a conversation about football or weather. Life in the country is a bit more challenging since you have to develop some knowledge of local life to engage people in their interests. Oddly, sport and weather are still good openers.
But I’ve long envied those who can walk into a room full of strangers and effortlessly fall into conversation with just about anyone there.

Joshua Harris refers to a post by Michael Hyatt about ‘Having Better Dinner Conversations’. In the post Hyatt expands on these points.
1. Consciously seek out conducive environments.
2. Have only one conversation at a time.

5. Draw out those who are reticent to speak.
6. Pay attention to people’s physical needs.
7. Do more listening than talking.
8. Affirm people, even if you disagree with them.

I especially appreciated his third and fourth points:
3. Ask open-ended questions. As the hosts, Gail and I have a singular goal: we try to ask interesting questions. We try to make these questions open-ended, so that people must elaborate and give us some insight into them as a person. For example,
* What is your idea of a perfect vacation?
* If you could design your ideal job, what would it look like?
* What is the best book you have read in the last 12 months and why?
* What is the most important lesson you learned from your father?
* When is your very favorite thing about your spouse?
* If you were by yourself, and could listen to any music you want, what it be?
* If you could spend a day with anyone on the planet, who would it be?
* What it is like to be your friend? or to be married to you?
* If you were suddenly the President of the U.S., what would you do first?
* Looking back over your life, what would you describe as your proudest moment?
4. Ask a second question. The most interesting conversations come after the initial answer. It takes extraordinary discipline to refrain from answering your own question and, instead. answer a second question. Yet this is where the deepest conversations occur. I like to ask questions like these as follow-up questions:
* How did it feel when that happened?
* Can you elaborate on that?
* Why do you think that is important to you?
* Do you think you would have answered the same way five years ago?
* What emotion do you feel when you describe that?

I know the key to all of this is to have a genuine interest in other people.
I just wish I could communicate mine a bit more skillfully.